There are clouds
casting shadows on the ocean
and I am with you
though you are somewhere else.
There is a grey inside your eyes
that wasn't there
when I saw you first
and your arms are by your side
and I don't know where
to put my hands
and my eyes
are looking at
my feet
cos when I look at you
I see only past
and it makes my insides hurt
and I can't hide it
from my outsides
and I don't want you to see
cos you would sink
and I don't have the strength
to pick you up
and bring you back
to a now that exists
purely to feed the needs
of an us that existed
in a then that ended
long before now.
I am tired
and heavy
and done holding onto
an idea.
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