Today
I won't eat any food
or drink any water.
I won't walk outside
or answer
any questions
asked by
any people
in any place.
I won't turn on the radio
or dance in my kitchen
or do cartwheels
in the hallway
in my pyjamas
with a smile on my face
and my phone in my pocket.
I won't answer my phone at all
in fact
or pick up books
and read the last page
and put them down
again.
I won't take a bath
and make shapes in the bubbles
or put a flannel over my eyes
and count in multiples of seven
trying not to use my fingers.
I won't rearrange my cupboards
or sort out the medicine cabinet
or flip through the TV
until I find infomercials
selling hair
or cushions
or hot dogs
or more time.
I won't.
I will just sit still
on the top stair
with my hands by my sides
hoping that if I stay here long enough
I will dissolve into the floor
and reappear
where you are.
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